The path to finding joy with Jayla Marshall
Joy is defined as “a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.” It’s a feeling we all deserve, and something people often wish they had more of.
Jayla Marshall fell in love with stories at a very early age. Through her work, she uses creative and innovative strategies to encourage people to share their stories, uncover their purpose, and choose their joy.
The Decatur, Georgia native is a writer, speaker, educator, and a third-year higher education Ph.D. student. She believes all students should have the resources and support they need to discover their gifts and unique contributions to the world, and her research centers purpose development and ways to cultivate purpose.
When Jayla is not serving students, she is writing. She is an avid storyteller, and her work can be found in several major publications. She is an alumna of both Mercer University and Georgia State University.
In 2019, Jayla built a storytelling brand, Joy by Jayla, that is designed to inspire others to find the intersection of their identity, their purpose, and their joy. She wrote her first ebook, Choosing Your Joy, in 2019 about the steps she took to work towards designing the life she wants. She has spoken at international conferences, graduations, and youth empowerment summits. She also hosts sessions and personal workshops on building vision boards, finding your purpose, and choosing joy.
Below, Jayla talks all things joy.
How did you find joy?
I like to believe joy found me. In a season of grief and discovery, I asked God for happiness and He introduced me to joy. I was seeking temporary satisfaction, ease, and answers. I discovered that joy was happiness regardless of circumstance. Joy lives in me even in the midst of difficulty and challenges. I knew I fully understood joy when I found peace in the midst of a storm.
What began as a means to get through loss would eventually become a lifestyle. As I was working to understand what joy looked like for me, I started to research it, to share this idea of joy with my loved ones, and I even built my college homecoming queen campaign around finding and choosing joy. What blew me away was how much we all needed to better understand this concept of joy. We were all going through these cycles of unhappiness and looking for SOMETHING to relieve unwanted feelings.
So, I built a formula for myself and I shared it with my corner of the world. I worked full time to make my life my favorite place to be. As I wrote in the introduction of my eBook, “I didn’t know I needed a lesson on designing the life I wanted and deserved until I was sitting in one I didn’t.”
What steps should someone take if they want to choose joy for themselves?
Joy is formed just like a habit. It is a result of constant work and active choices. Here are some steps you can take to find and learn to choose joy for yourself.
Your joy can only be found within you: Don’t connect your happiness to other people or things. External happiness is fleeting and moves quicker than we can find the next source.
Don’t let small circumstances define entire stages of your life: By practicing the art of finding the lesson in every obstacle of our lives, this will push us to become more resilient to setbacks and hardships. This resilience is the strength and wisdom we need to walk ourselves through the doors of our future with no baggage. This resilience will also help us to live in joy knowing that what happened before does not completely define our now.
Allow yourself to feel: I operate on a 45 minute a day rule that I learned in therapy a few years ago. Give yourself some time to be sad and cry. Write down why you feel that way. Don’t escape these emotions. Temporary satisfaction is how we fall into the “happy trap.” This creates a cycle of discomfort and temporary fixes.
Speak Over Yourself: Trust that you are strong enough to get through. I affirm myself every morning. My favorite affirmation book is Speak Those Things by Chelsea Coffey. I remind myself that I have gotten though my worst days thus far, and I pray that God gives me the strength to get through many more.
Make gratitude a practice: Gratitude puts our lives into perspective. When we focus on the good, find the good in each day, and make it an intentional practice, we begin to introduce simple joy into our lives. Through this daily practice of gratitude, things like your morning coffee, waking up in good health, having loved ones to talk to, and enjoying your favorite meal will bring you joy.
Understand that you do have a purpose: Just when we feel like we’re about to be destroyed is often the moment where we can be used most. Ask yourself: How can my story help others? What are my circumstances leading me to and why?
What does joy look like to you?
This is one of my favorite questions to answer, because joy for me looks different every season. In this season, joy looks like breaking up with a fixation of perfection, timelines, and linear paths. It looks like letting the calling on my life unfold without getting in God’s way. It looks like doing the thing I cannot stop thinking about and being proud of myself for showing up regardless of the outcome.
In every season, my joy looks like a long walk on the beach, a deep appreciation for my family and loved ones, your favorite montage of Solange dancing videos, saying yes (and no), and understanding that the day I plant the seed is not the day I eat the fruit.