Guided by hope: Compassionate support for infertility
Kristin Dillensnyder is an IVF Mindset Coach, Infertility Advocate, and founder of Empowered Infertility. With a psychology degree and ICF certification, she combines professional expertise with personal experience to support women navigating infertility while balancing demanding careers.
After undergoing three rounds of IVF herself, Kristin saw the need for emotional support beyond medical care. Since 2019, she has empowered women worldwide through personalized coaching, her More Than Your Infertility podcast and the Two-Week Wait Challenge.
Featured on WIS TV, BBC, and USA Today, Kristin helps women transform their fertility journey with emotional tools, resilience, and empowerment.
The approach to coaching those facing infertility
The best way to describe my approach to coaching those facing infertility is a blend of proactive preparation and reactive support. We work together to plan ahead, arming you with the tools, understanding, and resources you’ll need to navigate this journey. But I’m also there for those moments when life throws something unexpected your way. I draw from my professional experience, life coach certification, personal journey, and the collective wisdom of my clients to guide my coaching.
My clients often say I’m like the big sister they never had — or as one called me, a “fairy god-sister.” I provide a safe space where they can let down the brave face they wear in daily life. With me, they don’t have to fake the smile or hide their pain; they can show up exactly as they are. My coaching is completely customized to meet each client where they are in their journey. I don’t follow a rigid step-by-step process because infertility is far from a one-size-fits-all experience. Instead, I focus on three key areas:
Planning for the emotional roller coaster
Refilling their emotional cup to prevent or recover from burnout
Building confidence in themselves, their bodies, and their doctors
Common mindset challenges when dealing with infertility and how to address them
One of the most common mindset challenges people face when dealing with infertility is the overwhelming fear of failure. They often feel isolated, uncertain, and stuck, as so much of the journey involves waiting — whether it's for results, next steps, or just a sense of progress. Infertility touches every aspect of their lives: their professional work, finances, health, and relationships.
To address these challenges, I help my clients understand how their brains work. Our minds are wired to keep us safe, to stick to familiar patterns, and to conserve energy. As a result, we develop habits of thinking that, while once protective, no longer serve us in the context of infertility. I teach clients how to recognize these automatic patterns and, importantly, how to change them.
Awareness is key. You can't shift your mindset if you don't know what you're thinking in the first place. So, we build that awareness together. I provide resources like a trigger plan and my 5A process for managing negative thought spirals—practical tools that help my clients gain control over their reactions and emotions.
Another big part of my coaching is helping people move away from shaming, blaming, or judging themselves for how they feel. Infertility is emotionally complex, and processing those feelings is crucial. When you avoid or judge your emotions, you're adding another layer to the problem instead of resolving it. I teach clients that it's okay to feel how they feel, and that they can choose to shift their mindset if it's no longer serving them. This approach helps them handle triggers, fears, and feelings of being left out or stuck—things that come up frequently in the infertility journey.
Helping clients maintain a positive outlook and hope throughout their infertility journey
I help my clients maintain a positive outlook and hope throughout their infertility journey by shifting their focus from the distant end goal to the small wins happening around them. It’s natural for someone going through IVF to focus solely on having a baby, but that can make the journey feel incredibly long, especially when they’ve already been through months, or even years, of disappointment. By the time someone reaches IVF, they’ve likely faced several cycles of loss or failed attempts, which can lead to emotional burnout.
One way we combat this is by “filling up their cup” and recovering from the exhaustion of that repetitive disappointment. I like to think of it as removing the blinders. When you’ve been through so much, it’s easy to only see what’s not working. Together, we widen that perspective so my clients can start recognizing the good things that are happening, even in the smallest moments.
Another key tool is my belief plan, which helps them regularly revisit all the hard things they’ve already overcome. It reminds them that this journey, while difficult, is temporary and that they’ve proven they can handle tough situations. This not only keeps hope alive but also reinforces their resilience. They learn that just because it hasn’t happened (and it’s taking longer than they expected) it doesn’t mean it can’t happen.
Helping clients navigate and communicate their emotions with their partners and support systems
The first step in helping my clients communicate their emotions with their partners and support systems is building awareness of what they're truly feeling and thinking. Often, we don't even realize the depth of our emotions until we take a moment to examine them. Once they’re more in tune with themselves, we work on understanding that not everyone in their life has the capacity or skill set to offer the support they truly need—and that’s okay. This is where I step in to fill those gaps, providing the emotional support they may not get from their partners, friends, or family.
Through coaching, clients learn to rely less on others to be their emotional rock and more on themselves. They also come to understand that someone doesn’t need to fully grasp their situation to still be supportive. One important thing we work on is helping them identify what they actually need, so they can effectively ask for it. This takes the pressure off their partners to show up in a way they may not be equipped for and sets everyone up for success. By learning how to ask for what they need, they allow their support systems to contribute in ways that are realistic and helpful, without putting extra strain on the relationship.
Resources
Podcasts:
Books: