A look into the Enneagram with Ali McGhee, co-director of The Enneagram School of Awakening

Looking to develop a deeper understanding of yourself and others? You may want to tap into the Enneagram, a model of human psychology and personality theory, that is "based on the idea that each person has a unique and innate personality structure, or essence, that shapes the way they see the world and themselves."

Ali McGhee is an Accredited Professional with the International Enneagram Association (IEA) and the co-director of The Enneagram School of Awakening. The school was founded by Dr. Lissa Friedman, an artist, therapist, and spiritual teacher who created the Embodiment Tradition (the school's specialty).

"I started working with the Enneagram in a therapeutic context in 2015 as I was navigating some tough relationship issues," says Ali. "I realized these same issues had come up again and again throughout my life."

During her first workshop with Lissa, she pinpointed Ali as a 2, the "Helper" type.

"I quickly discovered how the wisdom of the Enneagram could support me as I unraveled deepset patterning and started to awaken to my greatest potential."

As co-director of the school, she teaches a yearlong training cohort for anyone who wants to deepen their study of the Enneagram (for themselves or to teach, coach, or offer therapy). She also specializes in the Enneagram and Creative Writing, the Enneagram and Meditation/Yoga, and the Enneagram for Teams, which she loves doing in corporate settings.

Keep reading as Ali walks us through the world of the Enneagram and explains how it can help us deepen our connections.

Q. Could you give us a breakdown of the Enneagram?

A. The Enneagram is so many things. It is a wisdom system that evolved out of mystery traditions. What I'm mostly talking about here – what we call "The Enneagram of Personality" – emerged in the mid-20th century when a couple of psychotherapists focused it in that particular way.

The symbol is nine interconnected points in a circle. Each point represents a particular essential quality, kind of like an archetype. Each of us has all of these qualities in a unique ratio that makes up who we are, but there is one in particular – our specific Enneatype, that is most prevalent for us.

Once we know our core Enneatype, which doesn't change, we can begin to unravel the patterns – both seemingly positive and downright awful – that keep us trapped and feeling separate from one another and the world. 

One of my favorite things about the Enneagram is that it is a dynamic system. The Enneagram symbol is a map to the self. Each point connects to two other points, indicating the directions we move and the ways our personalities shift, say when we are doing really well and feeling good versus when we feel like things are falling apart. We also have instincts, or subtypes, that flavor our core type. I won't even go into those here, but they are fascinating and so informative.

The Enneagram also has levels of development, so you can think of it as 3D. If you are trapped in your patterns and coming from a place of reaction and programming, rather than from a place of growth and self-examination, you're at a lower level of development. As you work on yourself, you move throughout the levels. It's a lifelong practice.

Q. How can this help us understand ourselves better?

A. The Enneagram fosters endless possibilities for self-reflection. Once you know your type, you also know how you show up in the world and what you're doing that might serve your ego-driven personality, but not your highest nature or purpose. The first step of working with the Enneagam is fully accepting all parts of ourselves. Only through this acceptance can things move and change. If instead we try to repress the things about ourselves we don't like, they can resurface in destructive ways.

I don't want to sound too esoteric here, so I'll use my own journey as a Type 2 to give an example. Once I (reluctantly) uncovered my type, I then had to face a lot of things about myself – like my tendencies for giving to get, people-pleasing, flattery, believing I existed with fewer needs than others, intense anger fueled by resentment – that are not so pretty. But I also got to celebrate a lot of the wonderful things about being a Type 2, like an almost endless capacity for compassion and nurturing.

Once I became aware of my more negative patterning, I could start reflecting on it and seeing other ways to act and think. I was able to step outside of the patterning that had become ingrained. I now recognize that resentment means I didn't express my needs, that I need to rest and say no and pour back into my own cup, that power serves me better if I step into it rather than let my reactive anger explode on someone. And that at the core of my being, I am effortlessly connected to my own heart and to the quality of true compassion – the "essence" of Type 2. Each Enneatype has its own similar growth journey.

Q. How can this improve our relationships with others?

A. The Enneagram is one of the most powerful tools for accepting ourselves and others. It illuminates how differently people approach things. It was a real shocker to me to realize that not everyone processed thoughts and feelings the way I did. 

In the Embodiment Tradition, we teach how to step into every Enneatype, so you can experience the lens that a person with that type has for the world. We do this through somatic cues that students follow to actually feel the type in their own bodies.

Remember, the Enneagram is an interconnected symbol and we have all nine types. Being able to feel them all inside of us is such a great teacher, and helps us so much relationally. That's why I think this tradition is so revolutionary. But even if you're just reading about each type, learning the core motivations, fears, and the pure, essential qualities of each can give you so much insight into the people around you.

Q. How can someone find out their type?

A. Many people hear about the Enneagram, maybe on social media, then find a free test online that spits out a probable type and call it a day. If the test even types them right (which it often doesn't), that actually reinforces fixation and keeps us stuck in our limiting patterns and in feeling separate.

The best way to work with the Enneagram is to find a teacher who has come through an established lineage and who is accredited through the IEA, which means they have completed rigorous hours of training and teaching/coaching through recognized programs. There are a lot of armchair experts out there that oversimplify the Enneagram and do it a real disservice. 

Typing can be hard because we have qualities of all the types, and because so much of our true type is in shadow and we don't want to look at it, it is easy to mistype. Looking at the energetic expression of type through something like the Embodiment Tradition can really support typing, though it is still a yearslong journey for some.

Go into the process knowing that anything professing an easy, quick answer is suspect. If you know of a great teacher or school, take workshops, do a one-on-one or couples session, offer to be on typing panels (which often happen during training programs). You'll get so much more insight than from a test!.

If you must take a test, take the results with a grain of salt and don't let it be your only step in this journey of discovery. The best tests I've seen include video components so that the program facilitators can analyze the somatic elements of type that are so important. But even better – come talk to me.

To stay in the loop with Ali's offerings, follow her on Instagram @hoodoo.alphabet. For those within driving distance of Western North Carolina, Ali is co-leading a workshop on Sunday, March 24 in Flat Rock, NC – A Bridge to the Essence of You: An Enneagram and Yoga Experience. This is a full day where she will teach the Enneagram and lead meditations for each type and her co-teacher and fabulous friend, Tara Eschenroeder of Great Abiding Yoga, will lead a yoga practice that will weave together all of the teaching.